Some months produce ordinary people. October is not one of them. The best b-tches arrive in spooky season because ordinary months could not handle them.

This october birthday gift states a documented fact. The label reads The Best B-tches Are Born In October, and it is the least scary thing about the month.

Who this is for:

• The October baby who treats her birthday like a federal holiday
• The friend whose personality is 40 percent Halloween year round
• Anyone needing a birthday candle gift that matches her cozy-creepy agenda
• The b-tch in your life, said with maximum affection

Pick a scent as specific as she is. Cinnamon Chai for peak autumn atmosphere. Blackberry Vanilla for something sweet with an edge. Fraser Fir for early cabin-season commitment. Birthday girl privileges include all of the above.

What you get:

• 9oz candle available in an amber or clear glass jar
• Vegan blend of coconut, apricot, and soy wax with a small amount of food-grade paraffin for structure and scent throw
• Clean-burning, biodegradable, and free from toxins, parabens, and phthalates
• Cotton wick
• Printed in the USA
• Makes a gift she will actually keep

Born in October. Best b-tch confirmed. Case closed.