I wish regret burned more calories. The math would work out so much better. The regrets are plentiful and the caloric accounting is deeply unfair.

This regret burned calories mug files the metabolic grievance in the same series as anxiety. Both should count. Neither does. The system is broken.

Who this is for:

• The woman whose regrets are vigorous and calorie-free despite their obvious effort
• The relatable gift for the friend who has done the math and found it disappointing
• Anyone needing an I wish regret burned more calories mug for the honest mornings
• The regretful. Metabolically uncompensated. Filing complaints.

Made for the mornings after the decisions that should have come with a fitness credit. The regret is doing a lot of work. The scale has not acknowledged this.

What you get:

• 15 oz white ceramic, big enough to matter
• Microwave and dishwasher safe
• Printed in the USA
• Makes a gift she will actually use

Regret: vigorous. Calories: uncredited. Complaint: filed.